Revenge of some sort

The "magazine cover" below is my nephew who I am trying to get some sort of revenge on. For April Fools this year he had my sister text me and my other sister telling us we are going to be Great Aunts. Mike is freshly out of college and not in a relationship. I called him to offer congratulations and a shoulder if he needed it. Mike played along with his joke and went on that he did not know what he was going to do etc and sounded sooo depressed! For that I give him "Player" of the year. LOL! If there were such a magazine he would most definetly be on the cover. Cograts Mike! I am not done with you yet!